My Sweet Dream

Actually I'm supposed to visit my grandma at the temple on Saturday morning but I'm tired so I went back to bed. And there goes my dream ... ... ...

Dreaming Time

It was the last day of the funeral, all of my family members were at the wake. But I don't know why my grandma was not lying in the coffin instead she was lying on an automated bed just like those used in the hospital. She was lied slightly off to the end of the bed so my friend assist to carry her back to the right position. Suddenly, the bed was lifted to the sitting position so we thought we had pressed on the button accidentally. Without further hesitation, we faster pressed the button to put the bed at the resting position. And my friend left me at her bed side.

My face was not facing my grandma for a moment but when I turned back to look at her, her hand was at the side of her face. Then she opened her eyes so though she was not dead. Immediately, I called out to all my family members. Everyone greeted her and she acknowledged. I held her hand tightly and could described exactly that her hand was warm. And my dream ended.

When I was awake, I felt that though the dream was scary but the warmth of her hand was so real. It's like the way she held my hand before her death when I visited her. I won't forget the feeling.

Ah Ma, you will be remembered forever in my heart. I love you!

Management Styles

I'm cracking my brain right now to do a 7 pages questionnaire given by my boss. Luckily my dictionary is accompanying me, if not I will suffer as my English sucks. There are altogether 4 sections and all the questions look similar. Help, help!!

Introduction

The objective of this exercise is to have a better understanding of how best to manage all of you. As mangers or supervisors, I trust that all of you understand that it's not an easy job. Each of you is an individual, thinks differently and has certain set of values and principles for work and to live your life. We as managers are the same.

In order for us to know what tick and what not, I will like all of you to seriously consider these questions before answering. Do be honest and provide the closest answers to what you feel inside. This way, we can then know and understand how best to communicate and interact with you better.

Section

1. Managerial & leadership styles

2. Rewards & recognition

3. Correction & discipline

4. You & your communication styles

My Legs Are Aching

Chinese New Year is around the corner, every family is busy preparing for the festival but not my family. Though no celebration for us but I went Chinatown yesterday evening to walk walk and get the feel of it. I think I won't go there only once. Just like the previous years, I will be there with different group of friends. This year I started off with my Laogong, AhDe and XiaoTing. Maybe I was there late afternoon therefore not too crowded. I also went there to see see look look for my wedding stuffs. I think it's time to do some preparation le, had been lazy to think about it.

How long have you not been to the zoo? "Zoo" reminds me of a song. We're going to the zoo zoo zoo, how about you you you.. You can come too too too, we're going to the zoo zoo zoo..

And yes, I went to the zoo before Chinatown. We didn't visit all the animals as we were there six months ago. Must be thinking why we kept going to the zoo. It's because it's free entry up to 4 pax, company's pass.

It's a fruitful Sunday but I'm burnt and my legs are aching.

Don't irritate my pipi, Otter!

... Singapore Zoo Ambassador ...

Goodbye Grandma

Ever since my grandma moved to stay with my cousin, my mum had been visiting her everyday and took turn to look after her during the night time. On Sunday morning, 10 January 2010, while I'm still sleeping soundly on my bed, I received a call from my mum. She said that my grandma passed away on 7.15am. I'm emotionally sad but I stayed calm. I informed my brothers and my neighbours. Without further hesitation, I rushed down to pay my last visit before my grandma was sent for her final make-up.

I was there throughout for the whole preparation and ceremony. Everyone packed their feelings and prepared the best for my grandma. My grandma was worried that her funeral wake is not grand enough but my uncles and aunties tried to fulfill her final wishes. They bought her a nice coffin, ordering enough food and beverages and bands to play music on the final day. And most importantly a proper praying ceremony for her with most of her children, grand children, great grand children attending. I think it is not a matter of having a grand funeral wake for her, her "grand" means to have her total of 100 children, grand children, great grand children, great great grand children sending her off. But too bad, not everyone is able to see her off.

I didn't cried because I know it is ageing problem. Nature takes its place, people will get old and will leave the world someday. I may look emotionally stable however on the last day of the funeral, I kept going to my grandma to see her. I know this is my last chance. The moment the mortician shut the lid of the coffin, my tears rolled down my cheeks. Everyone stayed silent throughout till we reached Mandai crematorium. I hate to go through the process when your beloved ones being sent to cremate. Everyone burst out, crying out loud, including myself.

It had been 10 days after her death. Everything is back to normal. I should packed my feelings and work harder for the years ahead. She will be blessings each and every of us. 阿弥陀佛!

Picture Taken: Chinese New Year (2009)
Myself , AhMa , ZhiRen & Mummy

Many thanks for your care and concern, specially to:
Laogong & family, AhDe & family, HuiTing, Medalin, Cherilyn, Joulbert, Almen, ShaoQuan and AllenBryans

Preparation for 龍德堂大日子

It's 2+am now, Laogong and me are still at AhDe's room. Guess what we are doing, haha. The guys (Laogong and AhDe) are preparing the auction item while the girls (XiaoTing and me) are doing the template and role for the day of the auction. This is just a small portion of the whole event. Conclusion is organising an event is tedious and tiring but I enjoy it. It's so fun.

Almost done. Yippy, going home soon. I need my bed now. Tomorrow, a long day to go.

My Dearest Gandma

Before starting off, I wanted to give some general background about my grandma. Due to some family matters, she was brought to the old folks home. All of us knew that she doesn't want to stay there however we weren't given a choice. She stayed there for about 2 years. We see her aged and her health is getting poorer. The saddest issue is to see her swollen foot.

Finally my cousin can't bear to see her suffering so he decided to fetch grandma home and look after her by himself and his family. And she was sent to his home by ambulance yesterday afternoon. We are really thankful to him. Without him, my grandma couldn't fulfil her wish (which is to go home rather than ending her life at the old folks home). Usually older generation will have such thinking.

And so, my mummy had been visiting my grandma everyday as she sense that her days with us are countable. Today I also went to visit my grandma together with my mummy after work even though I'm tired. I'm afraid that it might be my last visit (sob sob). When I saw her, both her feet were bandaged, her eyes were closed (not because she is sleeping) and she could only drink. Her hands and legs were cold and her body was pale. My heart is aching and got the urge to cry out loud. But I know that my mummy is sadder than me so the more I shouldn't cry.

Yes, people will say that it is part and parcel of life but who bear to see their closest kin to leave them. I'm cherishing every moment with my grandma now though she doesn't know is her granddaughter beside her holding her hands. I hope those people reading my blog will also cherish every moment with their family before it is too late. Don't live with regrets.

Ah Ma, 你将会留下一个最完美的回忆在我心里。